My Life of Crime

My life of crime both began, and ended, when I was in the 3rd grade.  Just like today, back in the 1970s, Saturday morning cartoons were filled with commercials for cereals and toys.  Honeycomb, Frankenberry, Lucky Charms - my breakfast eating habits were shaped largely by television.  The number of cereal commercials was exceeded only by the number of toy commercials.  G.I. Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip was a favorite of mine.  But I remember none better than the ones for TV Magic Cards.

Even now, watching that video, I am amazed at how Marshall Brodien - Professional Magician was able to do those tricks.  I was mesmerized, and I would have given anything for those magical mysterious cards.

One day in 3rd grade, as luck would have it, Frank showed up to school with an authentic deck of TV Magic Cards.  During recess, he did his best Marshall Brodien impression and wowed us with a couple of tricks.  I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how I would get my hands on those cards.  It turns out that wasn't such an impossible task.  Leaving the classroom that day, I noticed that Frank had left the deck of cards in plain sight, just inside his desk.

I stuck the cards inside my H.R. Pufnstuf lunchbox and scurried on home.  As soon as I got home, I ran downstairs to uncover the secret of the TV Magic Cards.  I was a little disappointed when I learned the cards held no real magic at all.  They were just cards that had mismatched faces and partial markings so that if you held them a certain way, you could fool someone into thinking they a certain card.  Hold a card one way and it looks like the ace of spades.  Hold it another way and it looks like a 9 of diamonds.  With the secret revealed to me, I was well on my way to becoming Marshall Brodien, except I was missing the instructions that explained how to do all of the tricks.  Without those, I wasn't going to fool anyone.

My disappointment quickly changed to fear when Mom came downstairs and saw me playing with the cards.  The card magic did not help me disguise my guilt.  When she asked me where I had gotten them, I told her that Frank brought them to school, but that he was letting me borrow them for the night.  I don't know why it seemed so far-fetched that a kid that I had known my whole life would share something with me, but she didn't seem to be buying my lie.  She didn't push it though, and when she left the room, I packed the cards neatly back into their box.  The next day, I slipped the cards back inside Frank's desk and don't remember ever seeing them again.