Tonsils, Adenoids and Baseball Cards

How a Stuffy Nose Led to a Life Long Obsession

One of my earliest memories as a kid was sitting, unbuckled, in the back of my mom's car and mentioning a loud ringing in my ears.  It started when I was about four and, to be honest, hasn't stopped since.  It's like one of those ear tests, when you are supposed to raise your hand each time you hear the tone.  Except if I raised my hand every time I heard the tone, I'd end up like this famous Indian guy who hasn't lowered his arm in something like 50 years.

I learned to live with the ringing in my ears.  What I couldn't live with was the constant runny/stuffy nose.  After many doctor's appointments and allergy tests, it was decided that the best course of action was to remove my tonsils and adenoids.  I didn't know what adenoids were at the time.  I guess I still don't really know.  So, at age nine, Master David Happ, along with his sister, entered Mercy Hospital for what amounted to a three day stay.  Don't let anyone fool you, the promise of all the ice cream you can eat doesn't make up for the pain and suffering of a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy.

Despite the surgery, my woes continued.  Two years later I was back for a do-over on the adenoidectomy, and to have little rubber tubes inserted into my eardrums.  Medical technology had improved in two years.  This time, it was only a two night stay.  (My daughter's same procedure 20 years later required about a 3 hour hospital stay.)

Two days was going to be a long time to sit in a hospital room, so I was allowed to stock up on crossword puzzles, books and magazines.  I saw this magazine at Osco's. 

Lots of stories, picture, statistics, and even a crossword puzzle.  This was sure to keep me occupied for awhile.

Before the surgery had even taken place, I read stories about my favorite Cardinal; new Hall of Famer Ernie Banks; rookie sensation Bump Wills; and the ever under-rated Ron Cey.  In addition to the crossword puzzle, I had read Reader Letters, taken a baseball quiz, and failed at "So You Think You Know Baseball?"  I read every page, including the classifieds in the back.

And there it was, just above ads for a baseball camp and a stadium photo album, an ad for baseball cards.  For only $2.95, I could have a baseball card for every player on the Cardinals roster.  Sure, there were bigger and better offers, but I knew just how far I could push the "feel sorry for me because I'm in the hospital" thing with my mom.

6 to 8 weeks later, after any memory of my hospital stay had faded, I got them. My first 24 baseball cards!  It was love at first sight.  I mean, look at that Simmons card.  It doesn't get much cooler than that.  Except for maybe the Brock card....or Templeton... or Hrabosky.  I was hooked.

I ended up subscribing to Baseball Digest - an entire year for $6.  I continued to subscribe until 1982 or so, when I switched to Sports Illustrated.  It cost more, but it was weekly and had a swimsuit issue.  Baseball Digest never had that.

I bought packs of cards at the Philo Eisner every chance I could.  I could get 8 packs for a dollar.  Wes and I would stand outside the store, opening every pack and shoving all 8 pieces of gum into our mouths.  He got every Cubs card, and I got every Cardinals card, no questions asked.  My collection grew a few cards at a time, but that wasn't fast enough.  So when I saw the Baseball Digest ad that offered 1000 cards for "less than a penny a card", I couldn't place my order fast enough.

I didn't even consider spending a few dollars more to get the complete set.  It was all about quantity.  I paid the price years later, when I bought the cards needed to complete the sets from each of the years that I bought 1000 at a time.  I was worth it.  It's hard to beat the joy of opening 500-count boxes of fresh baseball cards, and then spending hours inspecting and sorting them.

I bought those first cards in 1977.  And like the ringing in my ears, I haven't stopped since.  I keep up with the new ones that come out each year, and I am slowly working my way backwards.  I have completed Topps sets from every year, 1968 to the present.  Throw in other random sets and impulse purchases, and I'm probably looking at around 150,000 cards.  And it all started with a snotty nose.